The Alternative Formula One 2010 Awards

altawards

So, bored of the predicatbility of other Formula One 2010 awards?

Welcome to my alternative! This is not entirely serious, more fun than anything I shall get a more serious roundup of the seaon underway in early December, because we all need something to fill the gap.

The winner of each category will be in purple…

The Most Impressive Man of the Season

Yes, which man has been the most impressive; exactly what it says on the tin. The candidates are: Jenson Button, Mark Webber, Lucas Di Grassi, Kubica, De La Rosa, Senna and Buemi. Quite Frankly in my opinion, there is only one man who win it – They haven’t been the best driver, they haven’t really impressed, but they have put up a hell of a fight this season and came out above their well experienced and very talented team-mate. Guessed it yet? Regardless of whether you have or havent, the winner is Lucas Di Grassi. Despite being a rookie, he has impressed me this season, and not with his dazzling good looks. Despite the astonishing lack of power, Lucas managed to bring his Virgin car home above his team mate Timo, and looks set for a good season next year if he can secure a race seat!

The Most Impressive Woman of the Season

Yes, you heard it loud and clear. It’s impossible to deny that some of the drivers on the grid are just a little bit too feminine; prehaps being around men all day ha this affect on them, btu anyway, the candidates are: Adrian Sutil, Timo Glock, Jaime Alguersuari, Sebastian Vettel, Fernando Alonso, Nico Rosberg and Nico Hulkenberg. This is quite a controvertial category, especially considering some of these drivers have rather a lot of fans, but you have to be kidding me if you think Adrian Sutil playing with dolphins, Timo Glock’s remarkable ability to cook, Alguersuari’s too obvious eyeliner, Vettel’s non-stop crying after he won the WDC, Fernando Alonso’s vanity, Nico Rosberg’s hair and Nico Hulkenberg’s stoppy fits when he doesn’t get what he wants are not in the least bit girly.

So drumroll please. The winner is….Nico Rosberg! With a nickname like Princess Nico, how can one not deny him the title with his silky-smooth, long, blonde hair and occasional sporting of headband.

The Least Impressive Driver of the Season

  This year has been a year of glory, and not so, so this award is to honour the not so part. I actualyl found ti very hard to come up with some candidates for this category, because all of the have been pretty decent drivers, its just the cars that have been awful. So I came up with four candidates: Kamui Kobayashi, Michael Schumacher, Bruno Senna and Felipe Massa. All have shown sparks of greatness, but othertiems they have put those sparks out with buckets full of water, but honestly, there can only be one winner, and that is of course, the utterly dissapointing Kamui Kobayashi. Last season, he showed us he had huge potential to be a star of Formula One, but this season, he has failed to finish on eight occasions! The only other person to DNF more times is Bruno Senna, but he isn’t exactly last in the championship!

The Shirtless Award for the Most Alluring Driver

Most award ceremonies usually have a best dresssed and a worst dressed follow up the next day in the daily rag, but since this isn’t an official awards ceremony, and I don’t work for any newspaper companies, how about making it an official award? Well I would, but that would be boring, and quite frankly none of them are well dressed, and even if they chose some decent clothes to wear, often face parts, ego, hair e.c.t get in the way, so instead of judging who looks good wearing clothes, lets judge who looks best not wearing clothes! The nominees are: Jenson Button, Fernando Alonso, Nico Rosberg, Adrian Sutil, Jaime Alguersuari, Timo Glock and Lucas Di Grassi.

The winner is admittedly going to be an entirely personal opinion, although others may well agree with it or not, but I am going to remove my biased towards the drivers I support and choose the one with the best abs. The winnner is…. Lucas Di Grassi. Yummy!

The Worst Dressed

Well, this year one the grid we are truly blessed with drivers who are absolute gems when it comes to having no fashion sense whatsoever. In fact, some of them look absolutely ridiculous sometimes. Unfortunately, this category has only three nominees: Fernando Alonso, Michael Schumacher and Tonio Liuzzi.

Flowing with the general vibes in the paddock, the winner undoubtedly has to be Tonio Liuzzi. Most of the drivers generally agree that he is the worst dressed, so I figure since they know best, why not go against the flow of awful outfits coming from Alonso and Schumacher and give Tonio this award!

Best Crash of the Year

Since there were many, many, many crashes this year owning to three rookie teams joining the grid, simply listing all the crashes would be tedious and pointless, most are very similar and non interesting. So the nominations are three from the pick of the best and are as follows: Mark ‘Red Bull gives you wings’ Webber going into the back of Heikki Kovalainen and subsequently into the air at Valencia, Lucas Di Grassi’s epic fail outlap crash before the Japanese GP and finally Tonio Liuzzi driving straight on top of Michael Schmacher at the Abu Dhabi GP in the first lap.

There are plenty of crashes that could of made the list very easily, but Mark Webbers crash was just EPIC, Lucas crash was an EPIC FAIL and the Tonio/Michael crash was the sort of crash that if you were either one of the drivers, there would have been a good chance of brown dribbling down your legs when you got out, especially if you were underneath! Of course, this one is a no brainer – Its got to be Lucas Di Grassi (You though I would say Mark’s crash, didn’t you). Since this is the alternative awards, it only makes sense that Lucas wins. The crash was the most epic fail in the whole season – how is it even possible to crash on the outlap – you don’t go fast enough to really have much of an impact, even if every system in the car did fail and you lost all control, but somehow Luca ploughed it into the wall. And he even, after all that calamity, finised above his team mate in the season standings! Remarkable!

The Kamui Kobayashi Award for the Best Kamui Kobayashi

The award pretty much explains itself – Kamui Kobayashi is awsome and needs his own award to commemorate this! The nominations are Kamui Kobayashi, Kamui Kobayashi, Kamui Kobayashi and Kamui Kobayashi.

The winner you will delighted to here is….

Kamui Kobayashi

BANNZZZAAAAAIIIIIII

FINAL WORD:

Well, this has been very interesting and fun! Picture gallery will be up soon I promise. It will contain the winners gallery, the nominees gallery and the trophy gallery! Tata for now!

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