Fernando Alonso look-a-like no.2 (This is an epic one)

Bruno Gehard                                                                                 Fernando Alonso

Well, I know one of them sometimes dresses in quite silly, over-the-top and garish clothes, occasionally sports a pair of slightly over the top sunglasses, hair products are on the top of his shopping list, is often been spotted wearing strange head wear and his photos make gay men swoon!

Guess what? It’s not the guy on the right!

Why don’t you guess which driver had to not only go over the top in the

champions photo, wearing his full work uniform, but chose to wear the bright red one?

Even if you were blind, you could probabaly see him in that picture!

Whats wrong with shorts and a Ferrari team shirt? Or he could sport the teams official formal uniform,

as shown below by Kimi and Felipe (BTW, I do love kimi in that suit, and with dark hair)

Here is the masterpeice of garishness. I think if Gok Wan saw this, he would explode…

You know what? If he had a cape, fencing sword and a big floppy hat, he could be one of the three muskateers with that moustache/beard

Meanwhile, he got a double whammy in here – the sunglasses and bad headwear…

I think he’s trying the surfer look with the shark tooth necklace, windswept hair, headband, surfing sunglasses and unbuttoned top. In fact if you imagined that picture with a beach background and his legs runnning, he might look like a baywatch life guard (minus the red).

Meanwhile, back to reality, because in real life, he isn’t actually a blue baywatch life guard, he’s a Formula One driver, so actually looks a prat in that get up.

As for the swooning photos….

You know what? When I saw that photo, it felt like one million gay men were screaming ‘bent’ in my ear. Not that it means anything…

Oh wait, some more stupid head wear coming up…

Look what I spotted. Its the infamous necklace… ^^^

And before all you Fernando lovers start moaning (and only Fernando lovers will moan), please take this as a joke. This may make your favorite Formula One driver have a shit fit if he saw this, but theres no need for you lot to do it as well. Feel free to contribute to the little gallery I’ve got going! comment a link to a picture or something and I’ll do my best to stick it up there if it’s good enough!

As for those who love to have a good laugh about Fernando Alonso, check out this page:


Here are some of the best bits if you, quite frankly, can’t be arsed to look (I co-ordinated the colours to match his personality)…

Fernando Alonso (born 29 July, 1981 in a cloud of his own vanity)

the only now acceptable references to Fernando are; “Mr Sulky Pants” (a trademark in which he uses to promote his own range of male denim wear), “Eyebrows” and “Spanish Cry”. However these policies are reversed within the country of Spain, where in this case, all of the above references are outlawed and are punishable by immediate on site execution by Armada. When within the country of Spain the only acceptable references are; “The Almighty Fernando”, “The Chosen One”, “God” “Super God”, “The God of God” and “Mr Fantastic”

His father Retardo Alonso was fisherman by trade, who specialised in sailing deep into British waters to catch (the Spanish word for steal) cod

‘  Alonso decided to junk his wheelbarrow and go to race in Formula One, the pinnacle for all egotistical racers

After driving for a couple of shit teams, Flabbio Briatore was quick to spot Alonso’s potential to become as big as an asshole as Flabbio himself was

However, he was facing difficulties scoring chicks because of his bushy eyebrows obscured his entire face

Alonso was surrounded again by a cloud of his own vanity and refused to believe he was being beaten by a black man, showing what a bigoted racist he was

In the Singapore Grand Prix, Alonso’s team-mate Nelson Prick-K IV intentionally crashed into the barriers leading a safety car deployment. During this deployment all teams pitted for a tyre change costing them vital race time, however a completely unrelated and totally unplanned but rather convenient and very well thought out, totally unsuspicious early pit stop by Fernando meant that he was luckily able to pass the leaders during their stops and take over as race cheater, sorry race LEADER

‘  This time he was hired by the evil empire of Ferrari. Associating himself with such an organization meant Alonso was now able to declare himself as the Supreme Lord of the Universe

Fernando Alonso is never wrong. NEVER.

In Britain the words bastard, prick, dickhead, asshole and jerk,can all be replaced by the word ‘Alonso’.

And this picture from their website nearly made a little bit of wee come out

Adios Amigos!

PS. I do know he is married, but there were alot of rumors in the rumor mill that things haven’t been as blissful as they though…Maybe there is something he isn’t telling his wife? Right, I’ll shut up before some Ferrari/Alonso fan smashes my window and hacks my head off…

2 Responses to “Fernando Alonso look-a-like no.2 (This is an epic one)”
  1. weight says:

    yeah my dad will like this

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